Every office has one: the Secret Santa or White Elephant exchange where half the gifts are forgotten in a desk drawer by January. I've done this exchange with flight crews I'd just met that morning and with friends I've known for a decade, and the gifts that actually get used — and the ones that get "stolen" three times in White Elephant — have a few things in common. Here's how both games actually work, the etiquette nobody tells you, and an actual shopping list.
Secret Santa vs. White Elephant: what's the difference?
They get lumped together, but they're different games.
Secret Santa — Everyone draws a name (in person or via a random-draw app) and buys that one person a gift, usually within an agreed budget. Gifts are typically opened privately or all at once, and the fun is in matching the gift to the person. Thoughtfulness counts.
White Elephant (also called Yankee Swap) — Everyone brings one wrapped gift, no names assigned. Gifts go into a pile, and players take turns either unwrapping a new one from the pile or "stealing" an already-opened gift from someone else. Thoughtfulness matters less than "will people want to steal this."
Knowing which one you're playing changes what you should buy — a deeply personal gift is wasted in White Elephant, and a purely funny gag gift can fall flat in Secret Santa.
The rules, in plain terms
Secret Santa:
- Draw names ahead of time (paper, hat, or an app like Elfster)
- Agree on a budget in advance — and stick to it, since a gift that blows past the cap can make others feel awkward
- Keep your identity secret until the reveal, if your group does one
- Match the gift to the actual person, not a generic "office gift"
White Elephant:
- Everyone brings one gift, wrapped, within the agreed budget
- Draw numbers to set turn order
- On your turn: pick an unopened gift from the pile, or steal an already-opened one from another player
- Most versions cap how many times a single gift can be stolen (often 2–3) before it's "locked" for the rest of the game
- The person who goes first often ends up opening last, since they can steal whatever's left
Etiquette that keeps the exchange fun (not awkward)
- Respect the budget cap. Going way under looks like you didn't try; going way over puts pressure on everyone else.
- Skip anything too personal for a group setting — nothing that assumes a relationship status, health info, or inside joke only two people will get.
- In White Elephant, steal graciously. A gift can usually only be stolen back once in a row (a "no ping-ponging" rule most groups use) — check your group's version before you start a steal war.
- Don't re-gift something visibly used or opened. It reads as low-effort even if the intent was fine.
- If you're new to the group, lean safe and universally likable rather than trying to be the funniest gift in the pile — you can earn "wildcard" status next year.
Best Secret Santa gift ideas under $25
Benson the Bear — $10.50. New this season and genuinely one of our most-loved kits, available in Green or Red. A safe, seasonal pick that doesn't feel like a safe, seasonal pick.
Obi the Corgi or Fran the Flamingo — $10.50–$15. Character kits are the easiest "I don't know this person that well" gift — universally likable, zero risk.
Callie the Cactus — $15. For the coworker who's all business on the outside — she's soft on the inside and knows exactly how to protect herself.
One kit from the Paris Daydream Bundle — a bundle of three (two luggage tags plus an Eiffel Tower bookmark), so wrap just the bookmark or one luggage tag to stay under budget. See the "give one, keep two" idea below.
Flower Power Bundle — $25. Right at the cap, and a bundle reads as more generous than a single kit for the same spend.
The "give one, keep two" trick
Here's a budget hack worth knowing: several of our bundles include 2–4 kits for one price, which works out to well under $10 per kit. Buy the bundle, wrap and give one piece as your Secret Santa or White Elephant gift, and keep the rest for yourself.
- Paris Daydream Bundle ($35 / 3 kits) — give the Eiffel Tower bookmark, keep the two luggage tags
- Sea Saga Bundle ($45 / 3 kits) — give one ocean-themed kit, keep the other two for yourself
- Bumble and Bloom Bundle ($45 / 4 kits) — give one, keep three
- Around the World Bookmark Bundle ($60 / 5 landmark kits) — give one, keep four
It's the rare gift-exchange move that's actually generous to you, too.
Best White Elephant gift ideas (the "steal me" picks)
White Elephant rewards a gift people want to steal — something recognizable enough to fight over, not just acceptable enough to keep. A few picks built for that:
- Benson the Bear — seasonal, charming, and the one people will eye from across the room
- One piece of the Paris Daydream Bundle — the Eiffel Tower bookmark travels well as a single gift and reads as more "designed" than a generic kit
- Anything from the Kits collection in a color that pops from the wrapping — White Elephant is partly a visual game, and a bold color gets picked first
A few quick questions
What's a good Secret Santa gift under $25? Something complete and usable on its own — a kit like Benson the Bear works because it needs nothing else to be a full gift.
What makes a good White Elephant gift? Visibility and recognizability — you want something people notice being unwrapped, not something that blends in.
How many times can a White Elephant gift be stolen? Most groups cap it at 2–3 steals before the gift is "locked" — confirm your group's specific rule before the game starts, since versions vary.
Is a cross stitch kit actually a good office gift? Yes — it's low-risk (no sizing, no allergies), genuinely useful, and works for people you don't know well.
Browse the full gift collection for more, or check out Cross Stitch Christmas Gifts Under $20 and Stocking Stuffers Under $20 for more budget-friendly picks this season.
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